So you’ve announced your engagement and everyone from your best friend to your mum to Karen in Finance is just so giddy with wedding planning excitement, but not you? Don’t fear, you’re not alone.
The newly engaged are engulfed by this wedding-drunk world where words like ‘arbour’ and ‘tablescape’ force their way into your vocabulary. Where there are different types of white and those invites better be Whisper White because if they’re Antique White I’m sending them back. Where there is so much pressure for this to be the best time of your life, but it’s ok if it isn’t.
Not everyone loves wedding planning. Not everyone is excited about getting married, as opposed to being married. In this nuptial nutty niche, it can feel ungrateful or plain wrong to admit that wedding planning just isn’t your thing.
Bonnie & Reece. Captured by Wedding Photographer - Glenn Alderson.
What does it mean if I don’t love wedding planning?
Absolutely nothing. Don’t buy into the pop-psychology that there is a deeper, darker underlying meaning. Maybe the issue is that you don’t love making lists or listening to unsolicited advice. Maybe you don’t love finding out that your entire life savings equates to one table setting. Many people are stoked to be married, they’re just not particularly fussed how they get there. Let’s say it louder for the people in the back, not loving wedding planning means only one thing: You don’t love wedding planning.
How to make wedding planning as bearable as possible:
Take it easy
Wedding planning is endless decision making and decision fatigue is real. A fun little scientific phenomena kicks into gear where our capacity to weigh options gets maxed out when we call upon it too often. Decision fatigue not only saps your energy, but it can put a strain on your relationship, too.
If this is feeling a little too familiar, put the decisions aside. Go out on a date, work out, read a book, do anything but talk about the wedding! Maybe you need an afternoon off from planning. Maybe a week or a year. Whatever timeframe, it is valid and right. This will not only put you both in a better mood, but give you perspective to eventually come up with the right answer.⠀
Weddings escalate fast. One minute it’s an intimate evening with your nearest and dearest, the next you’re calling the venue to see if a twenty-seventh table can be added. Make it simpler. I'm not talking about getting a better spreadsheet. I mean, flat out simplify. As a couple, choose a few things that are truly important to you.
Perhaps it’s being eco-conscious or having all your friends and family present or a bumping dancefloor. Maybe it’s nothing but the two of you and your marriage vows. Be guided by what matters. Once you’ve worked out what matters to you, if you don't need it then let it go.
Let it go and you’ll feel the stress go too. And you know what? Nobody will know. It's easy to get lost in all the amazing details that you could include - bouquets of paper flowers made from the pages of Harry Potter, the groomsmen learning the Single Ladies choreography. Yes, some people do all of this and it is amazing. But some don’t and it is totally okay, too.
Focused on being married, not getting married
Wedding planning might suck, but your partner doesn’t. Throughout the wedding planning process remind yourself why you’re here - a forever slumber party with you best friend. Bringing your friends and family together to celebrate your love is worth all of the work of planning - whether you’re enjoying it or not.
- Adelaide Weddings Chit Chat